Did He or Did He Not???

Fellow ladies, I am sure you can sympathize with me.

Have you ever been in that moment when you wonder if that guy looked at you because he likes you, or because he thinks you are a train wreck??

Who am I kidding? Of course you have!!!

No matter how much confidence I have, how much good I feel about myself, there is this nagging thought every time a guy looks at me.

They say men can’t read your mind! Hello!! We can’t either!

Well, at least I can’t…

So every time a guy checks me out, I wonder if he is really interested or do I have something stuck in my teeth (which is often, given my bugs bunny teeth). And all that confidence, which I usually have, just flies away!! Like a pigeon with its wings on fire!!

Do you girls feel the same??

And there is this other problem… How do we know if they are available or not?

At this wedding I recently attended, there was this guy who made eyes with me all the time! Ok I admit I started it, but he was really hot…I got this full blown crush right when he first saw me… and I was gone! I swear my heart was thumping like a hummingbird all the time! The next day my hopes where shattered! My cousin told me he has been in a relationship for 5 years!! 5!! And that idiot looked at me all through the wedding and encouraged me… any way I got over the shock, but it kept me wondering…how do we ever know if someone is available or not??? Asking is one thing, yes! But from where I come from, we don’t flirt and we don’t tell!!

Maybe people should wear badges saying if they are committed, or single, or interested, or psychopaths…make them digital so they can keep updating them!!!Life would be so much easier…I wouldn’t have to spend hours over the phone with my girl friends dissecting every single move that the guy made!!

Then there are these confused guys! A guy in my college wins the award for this one…he is really smart and cute, and I kinda want him to decide real quick! He looks at me one day, ignores me the next, stares at me some other day, and there are days he wont even acknowledge my existence. And my friends swear he runs a quick glance at my usual spot in the class when I am not there!! Huh?? What is going on in his mind? Does he like me or not?? It’s as plain as that….Fellow male bloggers, if you happen to read this blog please help me out…should I move on? Or should I wait for him to make up his mind??

The bottom line is, I want things to be simpler…I don’t want to spend my time wondering and spending my energy on these useless thoughts (useless if the guy is really not interested). I mean I can deal with a guy not interested. But the complexity of all this really ruins it for me and makes me reach for my axe (not the deodorant, idiot!)

So guys, if you like me come up and say it!! I won’t kill you! And if you are not, please please DON’T stare at me!! I can deal with a hot guy not looking, but not with all the confusion if he is not really interested!!

Do you feel the same??? please do comment… 

The Misfit.

The Misfit

Mr. know it all dictionary defines misfit as :

1. Something of the wrong size or shape for its purpose.

2. One who is unable to adjust to one's environment or circumstances or is considered to be disturbingly different from others.

Now am I talking about clothes that don’t fit well?? Maybe... But I am leaning more towards different! Disturbingly so they say…

For a moment I am so proud I am not like anyone else, I revel in it. And then suddenly I feel timid and unsure about myself…being different has no security, no feeling of belongingness with others. By different I don’t mean I have 3 arms or worse 73 cats! And maybe people don’t even realize that I am different (hell most don’t even bother looking at me). But its there in my head all the time! That little voice asking me to confirm…Give in!

And just for a tiny weak moment, I do!

But it doesn’t feel good! Its suffocating…it’s THEIR shoes! Walking around in them kills my feet! And brings my clumsiness up to a whole new level! (I swear He did mess up…gave me two left feet!).

So I go back to being scared. A little freak. To being so socially awkward I have to use Google to get what people mean! (No kidding!) And falling and slipping all the way home!(still not kidding!)

So I am going to try and be comfortable with who I am! Gutsy and unwavering and all that!! Walk in my own shoes.. Cause when you wear a shoe size 10, how much choice do you really have!!

The Misfit.


**pls do comment to let me know how crappy this post is!!ill appreciate it..and i promise i wont cry :(